The Importance of Date Night

“And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”

~ Colossians 3:14

No kids. No meetings. No friends. Just the two of you.

For some of you, it may have been a while since you’ve been out together as a couple. If I asked you when the last time was and you hesitate, it’s probably been too long.

Some say that marriage is the most important relationship you will ever have; that it’s more important than the one with your children. Let’s be honest, raising children is half prayer and half a good marriage. If you want your relationship with your children to deepen, start with your spouse.

Author Lori Palatnik describes marriage is like a bank account that requires investment. “Life will throw a lot of things your way, challenges, adversity, problems. These create a stress in marriage and cause one to withdraw from the account, emotionally and physically. So your bank account better be pretty full.”

 Palatnik continues by saying, “How do you make deposits to insure that the funds are there? Investing in your marriage means spending quality time together. Dating after marriage is an important tool.”

On her website, Palatnik details four “practicals” or suggestions to give your date nights more structure.

1. Frequency
Try and make your date once a week, the same time every week. If Wednesday is “date night,” book your babysitter every Wednesday. If you get an invitation to something, or a meeting is scheduled, tell them, "No, it’s my date night with my spouse." Date night is sacred.


2. Planning
Take turns planning the date. It could be dinner and a show, it could be as simple as a shopping excursion to Walmart, a coffee at Starbucks -- the idea is to spend time together, just the two of you.

3. Talking
You are allowed to talk about the kids, but only for the first 15 minutes. What else is there to talk about? Well before you had those kids, there must have been something to talk about! So get back to sharing your hopes, thoughts, feelings and dreams,


4. Escape
Every 3-4 months plan a get-away. At least for one night, ideally two. You don’t have to go far, it could be checking into a hotel right here in town, or driving to a bed and breakfast in the mountains. You are close enough that if your kids needed you, you could be home, but you are far enough away to feel like you are really gone.

About the Author:

Palatnik is an author and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, illuminating traditional practices and life-styles for our contemporary world. She and her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik, live in DC, where she is Executive Director of the Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project. Lori is the author of several religious books about dealing with loss, relationships, and eliminating the habit of gossip. She has been featured on “Dr. Laura” and FoxNews.com.